Testimony Tests
by lalalei
Summary: Phoenix Wright matches wits with Winston Payne. Sound easy? Not when he overslept until a half hour before the trial...Based on a Youtube video.


_I must be the biggest dork ever. Wanna know why? This fan-made fanfic is based on a fan-made video on Youtube. Which was based off the infamous 'Phoenix Wright: Boot to the Head'. So yeah. I'm a dork._

_Here's the video, so now you don't have to waste time typing into the Youtube search bar! Remove the spaces. _

htt p://www .youtube. com/watch?v9bFTLcCpYNk 

_Okay...Here we go!_

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Prosecutor Winston Payne sighed. It had been a long trial, and a tiring one, but he was certain that his next witness would prove beyond all doubt that Phoenix Wright's client was guilty.

"Detective Gumshoe," he said, in a rather bored tone, "please testify about what happened the night of the murder."

The detective nodded amiably. "You got it, pal!"

_Pal?_ Phoenix thought numbly. _He must be drunk._

Shaking his head, the defense attorney pushed aside stray thoughts and concentrated on Gumshoe's words. If he could find contradictions in the testimony, he could prove that the detective was mistaken or otherwise uninformed.

Phoenix's thoughts wandered suddenly; he found it difficult to focus as the detective took the stand. His mind drifted off to thoughts of a warm bed…a nice soft pillow… It was all he could do to keep his head upright.

Sleeping in until half an hour before the trial clearly wasn't a smart move.

He jumped as Payne spoke; the prosecutor's thin, screechy voice brought the attorney back to his senses.

"Mr. Gumshoe, when exactly did the event take place," Payne asked.

Gumshoe thought. "It was Friday, April 13, 20X6. Suddenly, I heard a loud 'BANG' noise. I went outside to see where it came from…but there was nothing there. I guess it must've been a firecracker of some kind…It startled me pretty bad."

Phoenix thought about the detective's testimony, then gazed at the Court Records. Currently, the only piece of evidence was a written record of a gun going off in the evening.

…_I guess for now I should just press him for more info. I can use the evidence later on, when I'm sure of what happened._

"20X6, huh," Phoenix started. Gumshoe nodded.

"…Why does that year sound familiar to me," Phoenix wondered out loud.

Prosecutor Payne smirked and tapped his forehead in disdain. "Maybe because it's when the event took place?"

Phoenix flinched at the prosecutor's words, then continued with the cross-examination.

"You say you heard a loud BANG. Is that correct?"

Gumshoe nodded, a smile on his face. "That's right."

The attorney rested his hand on his chin, thinking. "Maybe it could've been a gun," he muttered.

Unfortunately for Phoenix, Payne had sharp ears.

"Ha! That noise could've been from anything!"

Phoenix groaned, shaking his head to clear his mind. Obviously, his head wasn't in the best of states.

"…Gumshoe. You went outside and found nothing to visually determine the noise's source. Is that right?"

The detective nodded. "But like I told you, I'm pretty sure it was a firecracker."

"Hold it," Phoenix cried, his eyes burning with intensity. "What made you think it was a firecracker? That doesn't sound like a very reliable source."

The detective faltered, but before he could answer, Payne slammed his hands on the desk and shattered everyone's eardrums with an "OBJECTION!"

"Mr. Wright," the prosecutor said, now in an eerily calm manner, "the detective seemed pretty confident as to what the noise was."

Phoenix shook his head. Slamming his hands on his desk, he yelled directly at the prosecutor.

"OBJECTION!"

Payne started to sweat.

"Actually," the spiky-haired lawyer continued, "It could have been…a GUN!"

At the last two words, he extended his index finger at Payne; it seemed as if his hand itself had become the weapon in question.

Winston Payne stumbled back as if he had been physically struck, raising an arm to shield himself. Finally he recovered, beads of sweat noticeably dripping down his forehead.

"WHAT? But you don't have any evidence to _prove_ it was a gun!"

This was the moment Phoenix Wright had been waiting for.

"That's where you are wrong, Mr. Wimpy Prosecutor! I've got proof right here!"

With a flourish reminiscent of Miles Edgeworth, he took out an important-looking piece of paper and tapped it incessantly.

"According to this document collected at the scene, a gun was fired at exactly 6:66 PM!" the attorney stated officially.

Payne flinched reflexively, but then frowned. Did Phoenix say what he thought he'd said? He gazed at the attorney and noted the dark circles under his eyes. He looked again, and saw that Phoenix apparently had no problem with what he'd just stated.

_My, he must be tired, _the old man thought. _Oh well…I can't say I won't enjoy this…_

"_OBJECTION_!" Payne screeched; Phoenix yelped in surprise and covered his ears.

The prosecutor pretended to think.

"Wait….6:66 PM? But the minutes don't go past 60!" he yelled for the entire court to hear.

Payne smirked and again began tapping his forehead. "What do you say to that, Mr. Wright?"

Phoenix blinked, checked the evidence paper, and slumped over as the realization hit him. Sweat trickled down his face.

_This is the worst day of my life._

"…..Yeah. You're right. My mistake," he mumbled.

The attorney buried his head in his hands for a few seconds, his exhausted mind racing. He had to get back at Payne somehow, win this case…

The answer came to him in a flash. Slowly, he began to slip his foot out of the boot he'd been wearing.

"Mr. Wright. Any words," Payne taunted.

Phoenix straightened and sighed. "Not bad for a Rookie Crusher," he admitted.

Payne grinned, stopping the forehead taps just long enough to wag his index finger at the attorney. "So, you're finally catching on," he sneered.

Phoenix nodded. "Perhaps…"

His shoulders straightened, suddenly, and a grin crept along his face. Slowly, he reached under the desk for the boot that now lay on the floor.

"That is why I must present you with…"

Phoenix did his trademark finger point; Payne groaned and raised an arm instinctively. What did the Ace Attorney have up his sleeve this time? Decisive evidence? A key witness? A working clock?

"A boot to the head!"

"A WHAT?"

A black leather boot flew through the air and planted itself firmly in the prosecutor's forehead. With a slight yelp, Winston Payne fell backwards and out of his chair, hitting the cold floor.

The Judge blinked and rapped his gavel for attention.

"Mr. Wright...I suppose I should penalize you for assaulting Prosecutor Payne like that...But he honestly had it coming."

Phoenix blushed. "Thank you, your Honor."

Detective Gumshoe, who had sat spellbound watching the two attack each other, gazed at Payne. The man still breathed.

"Ummm…Shall we continue?"

The Judge glanced down at Payne's still form. "I don't think it can go on with an unconscious prosecutor, Mr. Gumshoe."

The detective nodded; Phoenix smiled in relief.

"Does that mean I won," the attorney asked.

The Judge thought for a moment. "...How about this. While Prosecutor Payne sleeps off that bump on his head… we all go out for ice cream."

At this the entire courtroom applauded; the attendants and bailiff were the first to file out.

"I call dibs on the cookie dough flavor," the Judge cried, racing out after them.

Phoenix slipped his boot back on and strode over to the door. He glanced back at Payne; the prosecutor now had a large, red lump on his forehead.

_All things considered,_ he thought, _it hasn't been a bad day after all._


End file.
